What am i supposed to do
When the best part of me was always you?
What am i supposed to say
When i'm all choked up and your okay?
I'm falling to pieces...
One's still in love while the other one's leaving
I'm falling to pieces...
Cause when the heart breaks no it don't break even...
Ever have those days when your life just sucks so fucking bad? Or one of those days when you just feel like your whole life resembles one three or four minute song? Well, it's the last day of August before it's September, and it's been two weeks since i left Patrick, and these past two weeks my life's sucked SO Bad and it feels like every song i listen to reminds me of my poor love life. Especially songs by The Script. From Breakeven to Nothing to The First Time. I've been staying with Sarah and Sharpie for the past two weeks. They've both tried to make me feel better. But whenever i'm not on the road and in Chicago, i'm up in my guest room listening to sad songs on my IPod, like i am right now. Life's hard. I Just keep imagining If Patrick's already moved on from me. I Can't help but just wonder what the hell's going on with him. I Had The Script's songs on repeat on my Ipod and i was listening to Nothing right now, when i felt my headphones get pulled out of my ears.
"HEY," I Yelled as i saw Sarah with my headphones. She just sat down at the end of the bed.
"So, Once again, for about the 2nd straight week, It's sunny outside and 75, and instead of doing something productive, you're in my fucking house, eating my food, drinking my drinks and sitting on your ass listening to sad songs," She said.
"In my defense, i just got back from a road trip across the country," I Said.
"You didn't stay there why?" Sarah asked.
"Why would i wanna stay in some stupid Hotel when i could be in this loving house?" I Smirked slightly.
"Okay look," Sarah said. "You've been my best friend for years now, so you know i'll be here for you like, no matter what, but the seasons gonna be starting again in about a month and Training Camp is only a couple weeks away, i need Patrick in a good mood, and i don't think having someone all depressed in our house is helping him."
"Sarah, relax," I Said, turning off my ipod. "Right now, i'm amazing, i feel like i'm on cloud nine and just got rid of all this weight on my shoulders," I Lied. "I'm like that guy who's always happy, that guy from China...or Korea...Or Japan...Something like that," I Shrugged. "But bottom line, everything for me is amazing. It's all Goo-OW WHAT THE FUCK BITCH!?" I Yelled immediately holding my head and turning towards the doorway where i saw Sharpie and a soccer ball.
"I Wanted to go outside and play a little soccer or two with Hammer," He said.
"Hammer's back in Chicago? I Thought he would've been back from Sweden next week," Sarah shrugged.
"Me too, but he's back now," Sharpie said. "Anyway, you girls wanna play a little two on two with us? Heather and Adam are downstairs packing to go wherever they both need to go, we might get them to join us and maybe do boys vs. girls."
"I Hate soccer," I Rolled my eyes.
"Then you can be goalie, duh," Sharpie said. I Rolled my eyes. "You seem good with your hands anyway."
"They're handy," I Said.
"I see what you did there," Sharpie winked. "I'll go see if Adam's done Packing and when he has to be at the O'Hare, hopefully we can get in one game or so outback," Sharpie said, as he left.
"Shouldn't you be packing to?" Sarah asked me.
"I Should?" I Asked. "I Already have my bag filled with my wrestling stuff washed and packed for next week."
"No, i mean don't you have a wedding this Saturday?" Sarah asked.
"Oh yeah!" I Said. Nikie and John were FINALLY tying the knot. "I Don't have my dress yet, i'm getting it when i get to West Newbury, but i hear it's a light blue dress."
"Oh, that's nice, but you still have everything packed?" Sarah asked.
"Everything?" I Raised an eyebrow. "Wait...you think after the wedding, i'm leaving?" It was silent for a moment as Sarah bit her bottom lip for a moment.
"Um... No!" She said. "I Meant everything as in...everything you'll need for Friday and Saturday!"
"Oh! In that case, yeah," I Smiled. She just slowly smiled and nodded her head back.
"Greaat!" Sarah said. "I'm gonna...you know...head outside.." She said, getting up and leaving the room.
I Was putting my IPod back on, when i heard Sarah yelling outside the door.
"FUCKING SHIT THAT DEPRESSED BITCH NEEDS TO GET OUT OF MY HOUSE," She yelled.
After hearing that, i rolled my eyes then sighed as i turned back on my IPod and switched songs to 'For The First Time' by The Script.
She's all laid up in bed with a broken heart, while i'm drinking jack all alone in my local bar, and we don't know how, How we got into this mad situation, only doing things out of frustration, Trying to make it work but man these times are hard. She needs me now but i can't seem to find the time, I Got a new job in the Unemployment line, and we don't know how, How we got into this mess is it gods test? Someone help us 'cause we're doing our best. Tryna make it work but man these times are ha-
After that, i couldn't take it anymore and i switched the song.
"If only it was that easy with me and Patrick..." I Sighed, laying back down in bed, putting the pillow over my face and putting my Ipod on a different song.
"Ugggh," I Moaned, holding my stomach in pain on my couch.
I Was out at a club last night, underground. I Just got my cast off yesterday for my wrist, so i decided to not go to the crappy local bar and head to Underground instead. In my local bar, i had about a shot or two of Whiskey every night, but at Underground, i went overboard, and i couldn't even walk up the stairs to my bed, so i crashed on my couch, and boy, am i feeling the side effects. I Managed to turn around so i was on my stomach, and i also saw a picture of Me and Kat framed on the coffee table. I Just moaned again.
"My lifes been complete hell without you," I Moaned, looking at the picture. Then, i heard my front door opened. I Tried to turn back onto my side to see who it was, but i just couldn't.
"Hey dude," I Heard Jonathan said. "Me and-what the hell man?" He asked, slamming the door shut. "You still haven't picked up the remainings from hurricane Kat?"
"I'm not stable enough," I Said, as i felt Jonathan grab my arm and pull me up, and i moaned even more before sighing.
"Look at this," Jonathan said pointing to the ground. "You spilled Oatmeal on the ground and didn't even clean it up."
"That's not oatmeal," I Said.
"Then what the hell is i-" Jonathan began, before realizing what it was. "OH COME ON KANER," He yelled, face palming.
"What do you want me to do?" I Yelled, actually standing up.
"I Want you to move on," Jonathan said. "Dude, every night you've been out at bars drinking, you're developing old habits that got you in BIG Trouble in the past, all because of a girl?"
"All because of a girl i was about to propose to," I Said.
"You can't live like this, bro," He said. "Especially with the training camp starting soon."
"Well i can clean up when in public, i've done that for years clearly," I Said.
"Yeah, clearly," Jonathan said.
"Don't you see?" I Sighed, sitting back onto the couch. "Kat changed me for the better, she's gone, and i've changed again, for the worse. I Miss her and want her back."
"I Get Kat changed you, but it's up to you to learn from whatever she did to change you to keep up with it so you can live a full, healthy life and keep yourself grounded," Jonathan said, heading to the kitchen and going to the fridge and grabbing to water bottles, then shutting it. "Look, i know it's gonna be hard, but you're gonna have to forget about-"
Then, Jonathan immediately turned around and snatched this paper or whatever that was hanging on the fridge and then turned around, smirking and looking at it. Then, he looked at me and continued smirking.
"So...you want Kat back, eh?" He asked.
"What the hell,man," I asked. He came running back over and flopping onto the couch next to me and showing me the paper. "What's this?"
"A Wedding invitation, this Saturday in Massachusetts," Jonathan said.
"Oh yeah, that was for Kat," I Said.
"AND For you," Jonathan said.
"What?" I Asked.
"It says right here," Jonathan said, pointing at the invite. "'You, Katrina Dawson AND Patrick Kane are invited to our special day; John Felix Anthony Cena and Nikole Anne Cameron get married.' Then it says a bunch of wedding details, blah blah blah. So technically, you have as much right to be at that wedding as The Bride and the Groom do."
"Whoa, get out," I Said, standing up and looking at the card, and it was true, it did technically say i was invited to the wedding, NOT As Kat's Plus One. "This is GREAT!" I Smiled.
"Yeah, it is, so don't screw it up, we need you at your best this season," Jonathan said.
"Trust me," I Said, still smiling at the invitation. "Out of all the things i could possibly screw up, this won't be one of them."
After that, i turned on my tv and VH1 was on, they were doing some unplugged thing i guess with this band called The Script. I Didn't know what song it was, but hearing the lyrics made me smile and think of Kat.
Oh, these times are hard, and they're making us crazy don't give up on me baby....Oh, these times are hard, and they're making us crazy don't give up on me baby......
*September 2nd, 2pm, 25 hours before John&Nikie's Big Day, Jenny's POV*
"I Don't see why we aren't getting strippers," Cody said as he was helping John, Dan, Sean, Matt and Steve.
"Because, even though it's my brothers last day as a free man, he's grounding himself," I Smiled, also helping my 5 brothers load some bags into the car.
In just a couple of hours, John's getting married...to my best friend. I Couldn't be more then happy, especially as sister of the groom AND Maid Of Honor. AMAZING!!! There's a bachelor party tonight of course, thrown by Randy, John's best man, and my 4 other brothers, who are serving as the Groomsmen. Though it's being thrown by Randy, it's at Dan's house. Right now, we're loading all these bags into Sean's jeep for him to take to Dan's. The girls, however, are staying here at John and Nikie's for the night. The weddings at 3, so they won't see eachother until then.
"I Voted Strippers, but John said no," Dan shrugged as we headed back into the house.
"That's because i'm not a stripper type of person," John said, handing his one bag to Sean to take back out to the car.
"No, you're not a fun type of person," Dan said. "Strippers are fun, you don't like strippers, you're simply not fun."
"Grow up," John rolled his eyes. "Where's the future Mrs. John Cena anyway?" He asked, taking a sip of his O.J.
"I Don't know," I Shrugged. "Let me go check," I Said, running upstairs.
"Nikie!" Jenny yelled, running upstairs looking for her future sister in law. "Nikie!" Then, she walked past one of the bedrooms, and saw Nikie sitting on her bed, holding a pillow and a box in her hand. "There you are!" Jenny shouted, jumping onto the bed.
"Oh...hi," Nikie said, all gloomy.
"Why so gloomy?" Jenny asked. "You're wedding day is TOMORROW!!!"
"I Have bigger issues to worry about..." Nikie said.
"Since when is your wedding day an Issue?!" Jenny asked. "A Wedding is not an issue, it's a SPECIAL EVENT THAT LASTS A LIFETIME!!! Besides, what could be more important then your wedding!?" Nikie sighed, and took something out of the box she was holding, revealing a pregnancy test.
"It's positive," Nikie said. "I'm pregnant."
Jenny sat there next to her future sister-in-law, in complete shock.
"Well...not all pregnancy tests are positive though..." Jenny shrugged, only to see Nikie grab a bag FULL of positive pregnancy tests from the table stand next to her to only dump them out on the bed.
"Yeah...I think it's Positive alright..." Nikie said, before sighing. "John and i talked it over, we don't want kids until at least a year or two of marriage. This is fucked up..."
"Okay, look," Jenny said. "I Know this is scary and un-settling, especially considering you two didn't plan this, and John is always on the road...But this isn't the end of the world, this may actually be a blessing in disguise." Nikie just buryed her hands into her face and ignored Jenny.
"I'm fine with this, and you've seen John with kids, he LOVES Kids, he'll be fine with it too," Jenny tried to reassure her. "You just need to convince him."
"Convince him?" Nikie asked, looking up. "How?"
"I Don't know," Jenny shrugged. "Just...convince him having a baby will be an amazing life changing experience."
"If i even have this baby," Nikie uttered, causing Jenny to raise an eyebrow.
"WHOA, What!?" Jenny asked. "No! You Can't!"
"Well if you were in my situation, what would i do?" Nikie asked her.
"It's called taking responsibility of your actions, Oh, and it's also called ADOPTION," Jenny yelled. "You CAN'T Have an Abortion."
"Why not?" Nikie asked.
"Because...You can't! Do you know what would happen if John found out you got an abortion?" Jenny said.
"Do you know what would happen if John found out i was pregnant before we even got married!?" Nikie shouted back, before sighing. "Look, i just found out i was a while ago. I Still have about 9 months, i don't know what i'm doing, but John CAN'T Find out until i make my decision."
"Whoa, what?!" Jenny asked.
"You heard me, You can't tell your older brother about this, AT ALL," Nikie said.
"Fine," Jenny rolled her eyes. "But ANYTHING But abortion."
"No guarantees..." Nikie said. "Just, don't tell John."
"Alright," Jenny sighed.
Little did they know, standing right outside that door was John and Jenny's loud-mouth of a little brother, Dan, who heard every single word between the two girls...
*Later that night, 12am, John's POV*
"I TOLD YOU I DIDN'T WANT STRIPPERS!" I Yelled at my brothers, taking another drink of beer.
"Well, we got chu some anywaay," My brother Dan said. He was super wasted. He couldn't talk or walk.
"Bastards," I Rolled my eyes.
"chu wannatalk about BASTARDS?" Dan slurred, trying to walk over to me, but fell flat on his face. I Just laughed as i helped him up.
"What about Bastards, Dan?" I Chuckled. He took a deep breath, paused, then laughed.
"It's about your girl," Dan said, leaning on John for support.
"Oh, what about her," I Smirked, just thinking about her.
"She...she....She..."Dan began, before bursting out laughing. "She's got herself a bun IN THE OVEN!!!" Dan bursted out laughing, but i didn't laugh. "She is holding a little...tiny...baby YOU!"
I Was completely frozen, with a frown on my face as my Drunk brother just told me my future wife was pregnant.
I'm getting married tomorrow, i'm at my Bachelor part now, and i just found out from my Drunk little brother my own Fiancee' is Pregnant. To say i'm pissed would be the least of it.
To be continued....